Have you noticed a trend of men telling women how to be women?

There are self-proclaimed relationship experts who tell women what they need to do to attract the right men. There are plenty of viral posts that men have used to condemn certain things women do: how they dress, how they should wear their hair, how they aspire to be successful, etc. I even saw one where a man said getting degrees wasn’t cute.

Excuse me?

Tyrese Gibson is one of these men. Not only does Tyrese condemn a lot of things women do through his social media platforms, he also condemns them for how they look.

In recent days, Tyrese has recorded himself having a breakdown about not being able to see his daughter. He’s also filmed himself being heartbroken about his chef cooking for him. He’s went on a rant about delayed production of the next Fast and Furious movie. He has allegedly missed an opportunity to see his child because he travelled overseas (all while broke). He has made a call to action for people to step up and help his pregnant wife…There’s probably more, but I’m too exhausted to watch anything else from him.

It’s true that it seems Tyrese may have some mental issues to work through, however social media rants are not the wave. I started following him after reading his book, “How to get out of your own way,” and it seems like his idea of doing this was blaming others for everything wrong in his life.

Let’s face it. We all have highs and lows. That’s what recovery is about. It’s a process. You never know when something will happen in your life, that you will need to recover from. That’s why it’s so important that when you are up, or on a ‘high’, that you don’t sit on your pedestal and judge others. Tyrese disguised his judgment and criticism of others as advice.

My recovery tip for today is, don’t be like Tyrese. Here’s how to handle your ups and downs without involving social media.

 

Be humble

 

We all win and we all lose. It’s great to showcase your wins, but know that judging others for where they are isn’t going to get you any higher. Showing hatred towards someone else’s wins when you are down won’t elevate you. You never know when someone has just recovered from something or even about to deal with recovery. Be the things you wish you had when you were dealing with a low or high point in life. Encourage. Inspire. Uplift. You may need that sooner than you think.

 

Look at your mirror

 

It’s true that some things happen that are out of your control, but even then you can only control your reaction to it. Evaluate what you did to get you to this point. Move accordingly. You can’t control what others do.

 

Trust your circle

 

Social media does not love you. It’s like the streets. It will take from you what it will, but don’t expect it to be there when you need something real. If you don’t have a trusted circle that you can vent to outside of social media, there are professionals in place who get paid to listen and help you through your crisis. If you live for compliments, you will die by criticism. Remember that.

 

Mental health is real. We know that the black community loves to poke fun at it. I don’t agree with how Tyrese is handling his situation, however I don’t agree with people making fun of him either. We all have to do better.

Happy recovering!